Day 14
Two weeks ago today...I woke up in pain but decided to try and wait it out.  After awhile I had to get up and it is hard because my fiancée is sleeping and I want her to be able to sleep.  We went out to the back deck and drank coffee and sat for awhile.  I changed seats so I sat in the Transfer Chair with cushions and I felt I was able tolerate sitting time better.  A little while later I walked around our driveway with my walker & toe touch wt bearing.  I got 3/4 of the way around then just felt  lightheaded and tired.  I had to be wheeled back but I still felt I was making progress and there was hope.
I had therapy an hour later and we went upstairs with crutch and railing and fairly successfully.
I mentioned earlier I was having problems with my calf.  I called the local Doctor's Hospital to see if 1 sign of a clot in absence of any others necessitated my going in for an US.  The fact that I had to ask if I really needed to already answered my question.  I was asked to call the surgeon & I spoke with his nurse and she advised going in to get it checked out.  At 2PM I was having an US and lo & behold I have a clot in the lateral gastrocnemius vein up to the popliteal vein.  So now I have to double up on my coumadin and start giving myself Lovenox injections in the stomach to thin the blood.  The doctor from the Coumadin clinic said the antibiotic I was put on is metabolizing the Coumadin so it is not effective.  I am instructed to stop therapy, not massage the leg and to take it easy.  Then I was instructed to call 911 if I ever felt lightheaded.  I told her about how I felt with  exertion then I am informed I am to go back to the ER to scan for pulmonary embolisms.
The shock, the fear, the frustration of what else.  I had recently made the mental adjustment that things were getting better and there was hope in my mind that and I was going to not be a disability model and things would improve, relatively speaking and I felt I was slowly improving. This was as much as a mental setback as anything. However, there were some areas I felt that were beginning  to be improvement in and now I have to take a step back to take it easy.  I know it isn't forever but the last 2 weeks has seemed like 2 years already.
Tomorrow will come and this too shall pass but it is a lesson in powerlessness, or should I say relearning that I am powerless over many things in life